Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he fucked my hip out of place.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
