I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
