Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this will be a night to untag.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
