direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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