ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
