i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
