how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
