roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
