She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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