if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
