Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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