Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
