scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
