he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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