we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
