Me too!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
