Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
