I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
