is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
