i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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