we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
