lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
