The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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