Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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