2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
