We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
