Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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