she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
