im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
