I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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