Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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