Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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