i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
