alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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