Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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