woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
