I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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