Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize