i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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