I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Boobs are out for the taking
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize