Swine flu. Run for my life!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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