I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
