its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
