Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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