So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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