But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
