i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
