I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
