I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My liver just had a heart attack.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
