You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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