If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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