Soap is not a condiment
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
