Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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