since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
