do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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