ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
