Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
