we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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