whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
