I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my being single is dangerous.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
