I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
