This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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