whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
