I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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