I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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