Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
