Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize
